Girlboss Mentality. Is it time to say goodbye?

Me, sitting on a bridge, not being a girlboss

Girlboss. The term that pretty much everyone and their dog likes to use. Why? Why is being a girlboss so important? 

For the past couple of years I’ve noticed (mainly in the blogosphere) that in order to be deemed successful, or to even feel like you’re doing enough, you always HAVE to be busy. That means running a blog, a side hustle, as well as a full time job or school/uni and you mustn’t forget POSTING about just how busy you are 🙄

I’m guilty. I take on too much, I get up early, I go to bed late, all because I feel like I NEED to be busy otherwise I’m failing. Recently, I’ve been thinking about life, my career and my health. I spend my days wondering if I’m doing enough, and earning enough, asking myself could I be doing more? Or should I just work my normal job (as a graphic designer, which is only 4 days a week).

I’m so burnt out…

Currently, I work Tuesday to Friday for a software company as their in-house designer. It’s a wonderful job, the hours are good, the pay is good and I get to travel now and again. On a Monday/some evenings I freelance. I don’t work weekends anymore, I put my foot down on this a few months ago – because everybody needs some fucking downtime. Over the past few months, I have been spending most evenings doing work for other people, and neglecting myself. I sometimes don’t eat dinner because I don’t have time, or because I’m too tired. I skip gym sessions for the same reasons. My health has been deteriorating again, because I haven’t been keeping on top of my diet and fitness.

I had my gallbladder out about 2 years ago, and while I feel LOADS better, the symptoms are making a comeback. I’m sick, I’m tired, my back hurts, my stomach hurts even more… I got ill in NEW YORK, on holiday, on FUCKING HOLIDAY. That was when it hit home. That I was done.

I’m SO done with:

  • being busy.
  • running multiple things because I feel like I have to.
  • trying to keep up a front to people I don’t even bloody know.
  • helping to make someone else’s dreams a reality.

Fuck being busy.

I have made the decision to focus on my career, my health and my dreams. I want to feel good enough in myself to go to work and be able to give my all. So I can go to the gym to help with my digestive problems. So I can spend an hour or so making myself some good food. And so I can fucking read the book I’ve been wanting to bloody read for weeks. I want to use my day off to do stuff for me, whether it be running errands, or working on my blog or my lettering (Typegal) or the little blog resource website I’m starting (@blogkitco). I want to put my time into ME.

Focus on quality over quantity

Ask yourself if what you’re doing is worth it? Does it make you feel stressed? Does it affect your health? If the pros are greater than the cons, then by all means DO YOUR THANG, GET THAT MONEY. But if it’s making you feel shitty, ask yourself why the fuck you’re doing it. You don’t have to quit, but maybe just re-evaIuate what you’re doing. I feel like it’d be so more satisfying to do 1 or 2 things REALLY well, rather than trying to run 5 things just so you look like the next Sophia Amoruso.

What’s my new routine going to look like?

I’m going to make a routine for myself, both for my day offs and for evenings, so I can make use of my time without being left exhausted and resenting the world. I want to set aside time to cook proper dinners, and go to the gym. I’m also thinking about going to a yoga class once a week as I really enjoyed it in the past. I also want to utilise my day off for both self care and my side thangs.

Right now, I’m thinking I’ll start the day early, but not too early. Have my breakfast and a coffee, then hop in a salt bath while I listen to one of my fave podcasts (post on what I currently listen to coming soon). Then crack on with blogging, and working on Typegal or Blogkit. I also want to use the day to spend some quality time with my pups!

I have already made a start on this change, by ending one of my freelance contracts because it was making me feel unhappy. Now I only have one steady contract, so I’ll be able to start implementing my new routine sooner rather than later. It was scary to hit send on that email, but as soon as I did, it felt like a weight had been lifted.

What are your thoughts on the whole girlboss/being busy thing that’s still going on at the moment?

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